Some people might think its ridiculous, but I am such a sucker for self-accountability when it comes to relying on others. Absolutely trust people and have faith in people, but have your own back first. Stop being shocked when someone continues to do the same things they have always done.
People are always so surprised when they are let down by someone when, in fact, they have been consistent in their behavior. By “people,” I mostly mean me. I know, I know: practice what you preach. BUT, it is so hard for me to not have faith in people. I am a trustworthy person, so I automatically assume everyone else is as well. So, I have to remind myself daily, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” Maya Angelou really hit the nail on the head with this one because we can’t assume someone, who once proven untrustworthy, will somehow be someone trustworthy on another occasion.
I’ve found this quote to help me most when it comes to negative attributes and outcomes as a result to interactions with others, but it is also true in the opposite affect. People who have proven to be reliable time and time again or are there for you consistently are probably reliable people who have earned your trust. That being said, if someone has something come up, or it’s a one-time situation, I don’t think trust should be thrown to the wayside at all.
Yes, people change and I have learned to have faith in people even when they haven’t been reliable in the past; however, the only person you can truly change is yourself. If another person has made their own efforts to change their patterns of behavior, believe that new pattern and let their growth and their actions speak for themselves. Don’t let who a person used to be keep you from seeing who they are becoming.
Furthermore, we must take a look at our own actions. Am I holding myself accountable? Am I keeping my word and being reliable? Who is the person I am presenting myself as to others?
Think of how it made you feel when someone let you down… Would you want to make anyone feel that way? The answer is likely no. So, don’t be that person yourself. It’s easy to say what goes around comes around, but that isn’t always the case. You could be a nice, honest, and trustworthy person, but you hang around with people who have that horrible pattern of unreliable behavior. What people don’t realize is you have a say in who is in your circle. You can’t solely rely on being a good person to attract other good people–you have to choose your people wisely.
So, when people show you who they are, believe them!