Trust Actions Over Words

Some people might think its ridiculous, but I am such a sucker for self-accountability when it comes to relying on others. Absolutely trust people and have faith in people, but have your own back first. Stop being shocked when someone continues to do the same things they have always done.

People are always so surprised when they are let down by someone when, in fact, they have been consistent in their behavior. By “people,” I mostly mean me. I know, I know: practice what you preach. BUT, it is so hard for me to not have faith in people. I am a trustworthy person, so I automatically assume everyone else is as well. So, I have to remind myself daily, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” Maya Angelou really hit the nail on the head with this one because we can’t assume someone, who once proven untrustworthy, will somehow be someone trustworthy on another occasion.

I’ve found this quote to help me most when it comes to negative attributes and outcomes as a result to interactions with others, but it is also true in the opposite affect. People who have proven to be reliable time and time again or are there for you consistently are probably reliable people who have earned your trust. That being said, if someone has something come up, or it’s a one-time situation, I don’t think trust should be thrown to the wayside at all.

Yes, people change and I have learned to have faith in people even when they haven’t been reliable in the past; however, the only person you can truly change is yourself. If another person has made their own efforts to change their patterns of behavior, believe that new pattern and let their growth and their actions speak for themselves. Don’t let who a person used to be keep you from seeing who they are becoming.

Furthermore, we must take a look at our own actions. Am I holding myself accountable? Am I keeping my word and being reliable? Who is the person I am presenting myself as to others?

Think of how it made you feel when someone let you down… Would you want to make anyone feel that way? The answer is likely no. So, don’t be that person yourself. It’s easy to say what goes around comes around, but that isn’t always the case. You could be a nice, honest, and trustworthy person, but you hang around with people who have that horrible pattern of unreliable behavior.  What people don’t realize is you have a say in who is in your circle. You can’t solely rely on being a good person to attract other good people–you have to choose your people wisely.

So, when people show you who they are, believe them!

 

Xoxo,

Sonja

14 Comments Add yours

  1. Melissa says:

    I love the concept that you should have your own back first and that actions speak louder than words. However, I also agree with the fact that people do grow and change and that should also be acknowledged! Thanks for the reminder. Melissa Damiani | Gratitude Grace Glamour

    Like

  2. Viano Dee says:

    This is very true. It’s very easy to lose faith in people these days but like you said, we need to have our own backs first and when people show us who they are we should trust them. I feel like these are two main important lessons.

    Like

  3. monica.m says:

    I tend to trust people too easily and then again not so much. I need to start taking [more] accountability for what I say and do, I slack in that area sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes and trust in your own instincts and first impressions is key to

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sonja Hoff says:

      I totally agree!

      Like

  5. lalakerry says:

    My previous relationship makes me realize how I was putting too much trust until I end up breaking my own heart. But I don’t regret it because I learn to keep my word and I know who am I as a person. And because of that experience, I can take care of myself and feel the value that I had all along. It’s great learning for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Kayleen says:

    Amen! This is so true and I think everyone could benefit from reading this.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Lauren Jones says:

    Great read!!! I love the honesty!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Nadalie Bardowell says:

    YUP! Actions will always speak louder than words. My love language is 100% actions, not speaking. Makes me so sad that people word has so little value these days.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I can totally relate this. I used to believe and trust others around me so easily and ended up being broken with back stabbing. It took me ages to get here and understand Trust Actions over words.

    Like

  10. Crystal Gempko says:

    This is one of my biggest affirmations EVER. There is no substance to words unless you have the actions to back them up. Great read.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. DESPINA PARTHEMOS says:

    I think a lot of good people naturally attract people who will not be good to them and it is very difficult for them to break this cycle. I’m going to remember that quote from Maya Angelou

    Liked by 1 person

  12. tcleland88 says:

    Actions do speak louder than words most of the time. Trust your gut, and don’t fall for the fancy words!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I love that you have so much hope in other people! For me, I feel like I’m very hesitant to trust people, but once I can see who they are, I have an easier time or the complete opposite haha!

    -madi xo | http://www.everydaywithmadirae.com

    Liked by 1 person

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