Surround Yourself with Good People

Yes, I’m all about personal growth and inner healing, but the work you do on the inside is affected by who you have around you. It is so so important to have good people around you. My mom always says, “Surround yourself with people who lift you up and make you strive to reach the next level.” She’s absolutely right. For myself, I am very driven and constantly striving to be better; therefore, I should surround myself with people who have the same values and are trying to push themselves forward as well.

Friends Who Have Similar Goals

One of my closest friends, Siv, and I had a conversation years ago that I will never forget because it made me realize that she was a person I would have in my life forever. The conversation basically came about due to her getting a promotion. We talked about how sometimes you have to take a step back financially in order to set up something that will become more beneficial in the long run. Also, by being presented with an opportunity to learn and experience something new, she would become more well rounded and a better candidate for other positions in the future. That’s when we agreed that we would both never be comfortable with where we were in life and that we would always be looking for ways to  have more success and opportunity. This is something I say almost daily, whether it’s to myself or to others: always strive for better and look for ways to improve–never settle into your comfort zone.

Friends Who Motivate You

Your environment effects your motivation always. If you are around people who are hanging out and watching Netflix, it’ll be harder for you to make it to the gym or to do something more productive. So think on a larger scale: if you are around people who are just skating through life while you want to do more and make changes, it probably won’t happen if you spend most of your time doing things that other people want to do. That being said, you can be motivated and be moving forward while maintaining friendships with people who aren’t pushing you to be better… it just helps to have people that you can do self-improving things with, as well. For example, I have a gym buddy, a walking/running buddy, multiple hiking buddies, a blogging/business buddy. I don’t rely on them in order for me to perform these tasks, we just interact and bounce ideas off of each other and give each other pep talks. It makes all of these activities easier and gets me hyped up to participate when I have another person who is cheering me on.

Friends Who Comfort You

You know that one friend who you always fear opening up to because they have a tendency to judge you? Yeah… that’s not one of your people. Granted, I know that we all have these people in our lives and they can be good people, too–just not the ones you go to when you need support, uplifting, and empowerment. Your go-to people should be the ones who stand beside you and help you look for a way to solve a problem, heal a heartache, or calm a storm.

Friends Who Hold You Accountable

That being said, your people shouldn’t just turn a blind eye when it comes to mistakes you may be making or a wrong path you are taking. They should call you out on things before it’s too late. Our friends aren’t responsible for our well-being, but they should have some interest in seeing us succeed rather than make a mistake that is obvious to them. Yes, some situations you have to go through to learn from and they may be at the other side able to say “I told you so,” but they won’t because they didn’t want to see you learn that lesson the hard way.

Friends Who Support You

Your people should be your biggest fans. They should listen to your new MLM business pitch. They should try to be at every show your band plays. They should order Girl Scout cookies from your daughters. They should buy your book and give it as Christmas gifts. Your people want to see you succeed and that’s why they will not only cheer you on in your endeavors, but they will help you reach your goals by simply being one more person who believes in you. And they will do all of this happily because you do the same for them. Friends uplift friends.

Friends Who Don’t Call

I know you’re thinking, “how are these your good friends?” Your people aren’t necessarily the ones you see or talk to every day. In fact, there is something so special about picking up right where you left off with people you haven’t talked to in days, weeks, or even months. I have so many close friends like this, especially as adults. Life happens. We get busy with our careers, our relationships, our (fur) babies. We simply get too distracted to keep constant contact with all of the people we are close to.

Good friends will never have to experience the awkwardness of getting to re-meet each other… they just pick up from where they left off and move on with all the new and exciting pieces of life. While this side of a friendship may turn into a situation where, “she only calls when she needs something,” it’s because she knows you are reliable and you are her support system. Sometimes people may think of you as the person who is well connected, the problem-solver, or the get-er-done type. And they come to you just as you might go to them for whatever beneficial trait they have that you need help with. Your people will be there for you just like you are there for them. Which brings me to my next point…

Friends Who Can Balance

It’s important to realize when there is a shift in a friendship when someone gives less and less while demanding more and more. Your people will never ask more from you than they would expect you to ask of them. They know that balance is key because every relationship includes some give and take. Furthermore, your people will be able to balance their schedule. I truly believe that we all make time for things that are a priority. So, the excuse “I don’t have time” is just an excuse. If you wanted to make time, you would. Your people will make time for you because you do the same for them. There is a balance that everyone has to find between work, family, friends, and other commitments, but your people will always make you one of their priorities because they can balance out their schedule.

All friendships revolve around balance mostly because no one wants to be in a one sided friendship. You both want to benefit from your relationship just as much as you want to help one another. That is why it’s called a support system. It’s a system of support that someone gives to you, you give to someone else, and they give back to the original person.

SO, surround yourself with good people and the growth you and your whole circle can do will be limitless.

What are key qualities you look for in a friend? Comment below!

XO,

Sonja Hoff

19 Comments Add yours

  1. Viano Dee says:

    So true. This reminds me of what the Bible saus:” Bad company corrupts good character.” We have to choose our friends wisely.

    Like

  2. Melissa says:

    Hi, I love how you talk about the important types of people to have in your life. I’m so busy that I’m probably the friend who doesn’t call (as much as I should). But, I know that I can pick up with my friends right where we left off! But, relationships are definitely about balance! Thanks, Melissa

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love that you point out some difficult yet necessary qualities, like holding you accountable.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A great topic! I know a true friend by how they respond to my succeses. And also, by the way, I respond to their successes. Friends lift each other, wish each other to be widely successful.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jaynaylee says:

    This is so awesome! I can definitely agree friends that hold you accountable and motivate you are so important

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Clare says:

    This is a great article Sonja. I think you’re right about having motivating friends. The saying that you are like the people you hang out with most is so true!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Nancy G says:

    This is such a true post. Our friends can literally make or break us. As a quote beautifully say “Friends are like elevators, they either take you up or down. But they never leave you where they found you”

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Crystal Gempko says:

    Such a great message! It really is important that you surround yourself with individuals who have good heads on their shoulders, you might find yourself in some trouble if you don’t!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. athomewithmomma says:

    I agree! It’s so important to surround yourself with people who will guide you towards your right path. The people around you can really influence you in both positive and negative ways. I always look for a friend who is caring, honest, and who has gone through a lot of the same things in life as I have! Great post to reflect on!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This is a good read. It is very important whom we have in our life. Friends whom we can trust , who motivates us, can hold us accountable are friends indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. lambamsworld says:

    This is such a great topic for all to see. I love personal development and knowing one’s purpose in life. Learnt so much reading this beautiful post . Thank you for sharing.x

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Madi Rowan says:

    This is all spot on! The people we are surrounded with really makes the biggest difference in our lives – good or bad! For me, I noticed a huge shift when I removed people that didn’t fall into some of these categories!

    -Madi xo | http://www.everydaywithmadirae.com

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Heather says:

    This is a wonderful reminder. I definitely do so much better when with friends who motivate and push me to do more.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I personally had to evaluate my own friends a few years ago. People I’d stayed in touch with for 20 years. I found that many had different life goals and frankly, a few just toxic.

    Like

    1. Sonja Hoff says:

      Such a hard thing to realize after all of those years!

      Like

  15. Margaret Smith says:

    This is such a great lesson to learn. I have found myself having to revaluate relationships lately. We grow and change and have to move on.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. tcleland88 says:

    These are all great qualities to look for in friends. Friends do change as our lives and situations change, and that’s okay. As long as you have who you need when you need them, everything will be all right!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I look for honesty, dependability, love, respect, and commitment. I keep my Circle very small. This post was amazing! Lots of good information.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I completely agree I like to surround myself with like minded people too.

    Liked by 1 person

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