Leave Who You Were Behind

I am aware of how bizarre this sounds, so I’ll just jump right in.

You are not the pain you have suffered.

You are stronger because of what you have gone through. Whatever you see it as: a victory, a failure, a win, a loss, a triumph, or a struggle. You came out the other side, and here you are in the present, living your life. What you have gone through isn’t who you are–you are not permanently a victim of your situation. You are who you are BECAUSE of what you have gone through.

Use your struggle as a learning experience.

I know, how cliche? But you have made it through, so use what you have learned to help you keep striving for a better life. Use the mistakes and the victories as your road map through the rest of your future. You fell? You broke under pressure? You succumbed to a weakness? Great! Learn from it… You now know what not to do!

Overcome your situation–don’t become your situation.

I’ve said this before, and I really just mean to not use what you have gone through as an excuse to be complacent. Don’t stay where you are in life wallowing in a victim mentality. Overcome what you have gone through. Make yourself better because of what you have already endured in life. It is over, and it is time to move on. Don’t let what was supposed to break you down take over your whole life. It is now just a part of your past–it is not who you are.

Accept failure.

This is purely regarding what you are in control of. You are not a failure because you have failed. It is just a part of life. Accept it. Not everything is going to be a wild success, but every failure is a step closer to success. The less you dwell on your shortcomings, the easier you’ll be able to move on.

Turn your weaknesses into strengths.

I always tell people in job interviews to say that their weakness is something that could actually be used as a strength. That’s when I realized that you don’t have to just spin a weakness into a strength to schmooze potential new employers; you can actually take that attribute and harness it to build it into a strength.

For me, I always say that I am a perfectionist and a chatty Cathy. In real life, those attributes don’t sound like a weakness, but they do hold you back in some ways. The perfectionist in me sometimes holds me back from doing things that I may not be perfect at, or tasks that could be done quickly will take me a longer time because I want them done right. The Chatty Cathy part holds me back from being the most productive because I enjoy talking to people and learning about their life and talking about basically any topic under the sun.

I spin those attributes into positive traits by being excellent at time management–I allot a certain amount of time for conversation and a certain amount of time for cleaning projects. After that, it’s time to move on so that I don’t fall back into a pattern that sets me up for failure. By identifying my weaknesses, I am able to manipulate them into something I can use to benefit myself rather than something that holds me back. Leave the negative sides of your weaknesses behind–use this knowledge to enhance your future self.

You are not your choices.

Not one person in this world is perfect. That is why we are so lucky to be able to learn from the past. You may have made a bad choice, but that doesn’t make you a bad person. You may have made a mistake, but you are not a mistake. If you can take an objective look at something from your past, you can use it as that learning experience I mentioned before. In fact, we are so lucky that we are able to do this. Taking a look at ourselves and our own choices gives us information on what works and what does not. By realizing this, you can take every bit of knowledge out of something you already lived through and improve your future self.

You’ll never be that same person who made that same choice again. And you don’t have to hold onto that person. Take what you can get out of the experience and move on.

Let go of who you used to be. You are better every day than you were the day before. Continue with that pattern and leave the old you behind.

What actions do you take to propel yourself forward?

Like, comment, and/or share!

XO,

Sonja Hoff

22 Comments Add yours

  1. Viano Dee says:

    #Word. Let me also add: Your scars are not who you are. You are you and nothing can change that. Inspiring post you’ve got here.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Poovanesh says:

    I loved this post. Too often we let our problems govern our choices. You have given us great ideas to accept our failings and move on with life. Thank you for sharing a constructive post.

    Like

  3. Girl You Can Do This says:

    Oh I love how you said, “You are better every day than you were the day before.” It’s about growing stronger and smarter and wiser every single day. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. tcleland88 says:

    Great advice! There’s a reason that people say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. The important thing is that you learn from your mistakes and move on.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Accepting failure is probably the hardest part. But only after that, one can grow and bloom into a better version of themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. AWalkerWorld says:

    Yes!! Sometimes the challenges we face are exactly what we need in order to grow. Challenges we face just help us in the future.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Lovely post. This is so true we need to leave behind who we were. Overcoming our challenges and weakness is the key to improve the situation and move towards a better future with more upgraded version of own. Thanks for sharing and reminding. Heena

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lisa says:

    I meditate every day and practice stillness, taking time to focus on what is good and true instead of letting my mind ramble on about the past.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Lauren Jones says:

    I so truly believe in letting go of who you used to be, and growing so that you can be who you need to be.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sarah Conley says:

    Love the positivity in this post, Sonja! You can become who you aspire to be. You wake up a new person each day and are always evolving. Be whoever you want to be!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Sharvina.y says:

    These are great life lessons! You have to ‘leave who you were behind’ to move on.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. lalakerry says:

    I really love this! I think most of the time I forget about being present and keep on remembering the old me. It really took away the beautiful moment that I should be enjoying. Because when I keep thinking about failure, it will only make my future seems like a failure because I view myself as a failure. But that was the old me would think. Now going in the working environment, I see things more different and I’m able to accept the fact, people will not always be fair. And no one will be supporting me but me. And it’s not about the failures but me letting go of the thoughts that keeping me feel very weak. So like you said, it’s important to let go of the old me. Thank you so much!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I think turning your weakness into strengths is something we should all strive for, in our daily mantras. For the able to see our weakness then address them, and build off of that to grow. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Being resilient is so important because so many things happen in life that we need to overcome.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Great points here Sonja … “You are not the pain you have suffered” I love this sentiment. The pain we suffer forms part of our experience but it doesn’t make us who we are. I am always inspired by people who find the courage to share their painful experiences so openly … they demonstrate courage and teach others understanding and connection. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. These are great points that I know I personally needed to hear! I feel like I’ve been through so much sometimes it’s hard to pick myself back up but these are true words of wisdom and encouragement!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. great post, its easy to let our failures and past define us, so many people lose their identities, this is a great reminder

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Mira Afiouni says:

    amazing post ! love it ! we have to learn from every step we take ! thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. DESPINA PARTHEMOS says:

    This kind of mentality is vital, I always remind myself that I am never the first person to make a mistake, even a really big mistake. I used to function under this idea that everyone knew what they were doing except me. Boy, was I wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. We all need to be reminded of this! We’re way too hard on ourselves, our scars don’t define us, they refine us.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. awood09 says:

    Wow, you did such a wonderful job of putting a positive attitude on things that can be so difficult. I’m sure I am not the only person who needed to hear this!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. oh my goodness i love all of these- putting a positive spin on things can be difficult but you nailed it my friend- thanks for not making me realize i’m not alone in this.

    Liked by 1 person

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